Basically, bullies are cowards. A bully recognizes you can do something that they can not and often times they can see your potential before you can. And instead of exerting effort to establish skill or talent within themselves they work to shut you down. A bully will attempt to shut you down by any means necessary.
With business/social… a bully tries to gain control by making others feel angry or afraid. It is characterized by verbal abuse such as name-calling, sarcasm, incessant teasing, threatening, mocking, putting down, belittling, ignoring, and lying. Also known as adult and workplace bullying, emotional bullying also includes such abuse as micromanagement, exclusion from a group, tormenting, ganging up on others, or humiliation. Moreover, this type of bullying also extends to racially or sexually abusive comments and behavior.
In an article on bullying which appeared in the July 20, 1998 edition of the Toronto Star, experts pointed out that over 50% of the adult population have experienced this form of violence at work, at home, and in society.
Moreover, according to Peg Burr, MA, MFT, bullies exist along the same continuum as personality disordered persons who have anti-social tendencies and sociopaths.
When it comes to bullying, often the first advice given is to just ignore the bully. However, is this realistically possible when you have constant working relationship?
So, how do you stand up to and beat a bully?
Be confident. Be assertive. And hold your ground.
An emotionally neutral reaction to the abusive acting out will allow you to confine the relating you do with the bully to his or her positive areas (where he or she will feel less vulnerable and threatened) In other words, boost their ego. Tell them they are brilliant…etc. This is a good way to manipulate recurring difficult situations with a volatile boss, friend or coworker so that their acting out does not escalate. By doing this, you are performing a manipulation of the bully's narcissistic tendencies to get all of what you need and want
(i.e., a paycheck or even better: a business)
